SA
Harry, how are you feeling today, can you describe your energy in 5 words?
H
Frustrated, hopeful, stressed, confident, and excited
SA
A whirlwind of emotions, I’m hoping you’re not too stressed and frustrated and that your energy of excitement might release any of the tension you’re feeling. What does a typical week look like for you?
H
I’m only so frustrated because I spent my morning unpacking a therapy session I had with my Mum yesterday, but it’s all easing off now! My weeks are always planned out on a whiteboard ahead of time – but it’s usually 2-3 days of work at the brothel, part of a day for content creation, and about an hour of admin, gym some days, and hopefully meditation to fit in between it all. The rest of my spare time is spent with friends or reading.
SA
Mmm, sounds like a packed schedule and it also sounds like you have found space to prioritise grounding in between.
What’s it like navigating friendships and family dynamics with the work that you do?
H
I find making my schedule is also part of my grounding process too, so it’s hectic but good for me. Luckily, the majority of my friends are also sex workers, so I find my friendships such a safe and supportive space around work and they represent more of an ideal family dynamic to me. Like I said, I’m in therapy with my Mum, and it mostly surrounds unpacking her issues with sex work, so it’s pretty difficult, but also a rewarding process despite how exhausting it is right now.
SA
Wow, yeah – such brave yet uncomfortable work to be in such a vulnerable space with your own mother. Wishing you a lot of healing and gentleness.
I think, even knowing that you prioritise moving through sticky and prickly dynamics adds to the level of integrity I’ve always gauged from you and your work. I started following you a few years ago and since, have learned so much about the challenges of sex workers in Australia, but also, you’ve really taught me about resilience and community and alternate space making. What you’re doing is high integrity shit and I’m really grateful for your generous offerings, even in making space for this conversation.
How do you navigate the constant policing and surveillance of your body and your work while doing all the personal healing at the same time?
H
Thank you so much for saying that! It’s really nice to know my reach is making an impact in the way I hope it does when I’m sharing these things online.
I’m really lucky that I work in states with decriminalisation, so this policing and surveillance comes less from the state and more from sex work exclusionary feminists, social media platforms, within personal relationships, and general society. I find community grounding, and sharing stories or anxieties in spaces where we can be vulnerable and honest, which gets harder with every legislation and TOS update that encompass the social media platforms we use. Despite all manual labour involving the body, the bodies of sex workers are constantly in question, which is funny because I find sex work more mental than physical. Self-care is so important to me when we have to deal with these kinds of things. My personal healing is integrated in my overall input into community or education online, because I have to feel well to fight these stigmas with confidence and articulation, and to show up for my community with the amount of energy they deserve.
SA
Right, I can’t imagine what the level of mental and emotional labor is like for you, and, you’re right, it’s like — to truly resist we need to make sure our minds and our spirits are in a good place and strong enough to push back in a holistic way. What type of stigmas, be it the ones that are projected by ‘feminists,’ within personal relationships and general society, do you feel are the most dangerous?
H
I think that the most dangerous stigma of all is that sex work is not real work. When we deny sex work as real labour and label it as whatever else feminists or legislators want to call it, we deny the hugely varied community of rights. We all have such different needs and circumstances, but at the root of it all, rights are essential. Acknowledging something as a real job also legitimises us in such a way we are no longer victims, stereotypes, etc. – we become people with a manual labour occupation. That’s one step towards humanising that is so basic, and seems so hard to achieve sometimes, but is SO important.
SA
It’s so wild to me that there is such a disconnect still between folks who consider themselves ‘progressives’ and their lack of humanising sex workers. And I guess, it’s just a symptom of living in a hyper capitalist, misogynstic, white supremacist modern world. I recently have begun meditating on my queer South Asian ancestors as a way to funnel my frustration around the hyper degradation of women in South Asia, and it’s so clear that sex work has and will always exist throughout history. There is so much room to make safer societies for sex workers and sexual expression in general and yet, we’re just not there yet as a ‘modern’ society. But, it sounds like you truly have created a community where you can thrive in this work, and that makes my heart really happy and hopeful. How can folks outside of the sex work industry show up for sex worker friends and family?
H
I am constantly plugging the book, ‘Revolting Prostitutes’ by Juno Mac and Molly Smith – I wish everyone in the world would read it. But I think also investing in intersectionality; the liberation of sex workers can not be achieved without anti-capitalism, abolition of borders, trans rights, drug decriminalisation and so on. The book covers all of these things, and a podcast I listened to recently called is a great one. I always say argue with your families, back us offline as well as online – so it’s good to come to these conversations with ammunition and facts. It’s also so important for allies to make it their responsibility to seek out the varied voices of sex workers, and not just follow binary tropes of what a sex worker looks like.
SA
Yes, love that. It’s not liberation if it doesn’t include us all.
Most of our community is based in New York — for Americans interested in learning more about how the sex work industry might differ in Australia, could you shed some insight on those nuances?
H
There’s a TED Talk on YouTube that covers the basics of all the different models for sex work laws across the world, it’s called ‘’ and is also by Juno Mac. That’s a great place to start to just see how these laws differ and affect people in different countries.
Within Australia, only NSW and Northern Territory have achieved decriminalisation. A lot of the rest of the country is “legal”, which isn’t as amazing as it sounds and often means the government can still create legal hoops to jump through, that are often more difficult for vulnerable groups, and never make us safer. Just one example, in the ACT, more than two sex workers sharing a room is classified as “brothel keeping,” which means we are acting illegally, so sex workers must work alone. It’s pretty clear why that isn’t ideal. I think anyone well-versed in American sex work laws would be familiar with these totally unreasonable rules.
We hope that decriminalisation here can be the blueprint for the rest of the world to look to when creating new laws around sex work. Still though, without anti-discrimination bills and workplace standards, we aren’t guaranteed the same level of rights as other less discriminated against industries, and don’t have the power to push for better workplace conditions. Which reminds me, a good way to be an allie is also to watch for the Anti-Discrimination Bill the Greens are about to table to government here in Australia!
SA
Will definitely keep an eye out for and encourage our Australian community to be following that, thank you for sharing. Again, I’m always so encouraged by your brave outspokenness and truly stand beside you — thank you for teaching and guiding so many of us who might often struggle to understand without adequate resources.
To end, what are a couple of things you are practicing or engaging in that are helping you stay grounded lately? Be it a song you keep coming back to, a meal you’re cooking, a type of meditation…
H
For my mind, my whiteboard calendar is my recent saviour — so nerdy but so essential for a stressed out Gemini. For my body, things that bring me home to it, like baths, meditation, working out, journaling.
You can follow Harry’s work on Instagram @ and Twitter @