SA
Hi Amber <3 So lucky to have just talked to you. How are you?
A
Hey! I’m great! I’m so happy to have spoken to you.
SA
I have so many questions. But firstly, what first drew you to Tarot?
A
When I was a sophomore in high school I had to do a demonstrative speech for class and I hadn’t done the assignment. Naturally, I told the teacher and he told me I would fail. So, I went down to the locker room in tears and a friend of mine handed me a deck of cards with an instruction booklet inside. The assignment was to teach the class how to do something, so I learned the spread in five mins and taught the class how to do a reading. The teacher didn’t buy it and demanded that I do an actual reading and show the class. I did so and just went off what my gut told me the cards meant. The girl (who had given me the cards) was my first reading and I nailed it. When I got down to my locker there was a line of girls waiting. I guess you could say I fell into it.
SA
Talk about fate… one one of the reasons I wanted to talk to you is (well, it should be said for the readers, you’re my go-to Taroist/Astrologist) there’s something that’s so obvious to me about your connection to source. You speak in such profound ways, such profound truths. To hear the genesis of how you ~ came to be ~ makes so much sense. Do you feel like that’s accurate? Your connection to spirit?
A
So, when my mom was nine months pregnant, she fell in Mecca in front of the Kaba on her belly. There was quite a loud cracking sound and then I didn’t move at all for days. Everyone thought I had died, but she refused to go to the hospital, two days later I started moving again. I fell again when I was three in the bathtub (I slipped) and was out for an entire day. I think I learned in the womb how to leave and come back and have a tendency to do so quite a lot. It feels like the more disconnected you are from the body, the easier it is to travel and become a live wire – a connector of sorts. It’s not like I know what I’m going to say, ever. There’s no dialogue in my mind. I just say things, so I know I’m tapping into a running current of knowledge, it’s not my own.
SA
Your life is so poetic, but I find and see my own life as such… how things just fall into place, and things are gathered so effortlessly. As a Muslim, I’m so grateful for your existence because you navigate both Islam and the intersection of other worlds so gracefully. Sometimes you’ll say Inshallah or Mashallah in a reading and I just feel so seen. How have you cultivated this space where you can just be and harness all those intersecting (and to some maybe oppositional) spiritual practices and meld them together?
A
Well, it’s worth remembering that the first computer was created from the study of the iChing which led to the creation of binary math. The iChing is a divination tool that’s made modern computing possible. So, for me there isn’t much of an issue with using another tool of divination because it’s not something rooted in the occult for me. It’s like a quantum computer before those words existed. A series of pictures of broken and unbroken lines that reads the simulation at any given moment and shows you where your energy is at. I also shy away from predictive astrology for the most part. Sure, this transit and that card mean something, but your fate is always within your own hands. These tools are just a guide to help you understand yourself better so you can actually create the future you want not be tied into something that’s inevitable. I believe very deeply in my religion and I believe that a big part of my appeal is that I give people control over their own lives. Knowledge shouldn’t hurt you, it should guide you. There are many who may see my work as blasphemous, I’m aware. But there are many trenches and many ways of bringing people to faith. The most desperate among us look to the dark corners where judgement doesn’t prevail. I like working in those corners.
SA
Absolutely, this makes sense. Is this a reason why you’ve dedicated your life to this work? There’s something about the information you give, with tenderness, sometimes with sternness, that feels like such an offering and salve. I’m sure you hear this so much, but personally for me it’s been life altering… and I can’t help but feel like you are serving your purpose by giving so many people across the globe this reprieve… but how do you view and sit with this offering? Is it hard?
A
Not at all. The thing about tapping into a stream of information and energy is that I’m not a vessel. I don’t get drained or need to be filled back up. (Gemini shit) The only thing I know how to do in life is help people, I can’t bear suffering and cruelty. Wherever I see it, I have to do or say something. And because I seem to be able to offer information that soothes people and eases their suffering, I just keep doing it. There is no deeper thought process, so I don’t ever feel like it’s difficult or a burden. Someone appears before me and they’re hurting, they need some understanding, some hope, some information. I blurt it out, they feel lighter, better, more hopeful and then I’m gone. LOL That sounds bad but it’s pretty accurate.
SA
No, it sounds like a miracle! I know I’m so corny but you’re an angel ~ this is so selfless and beautiful. I also relate. I feel this work is so necessary, and I wish more of us took the time to create space to listen and heal with others, so thank you. Thank you for everything you do. Many things you said earlier in our reading moved me, but one thing that really struck me is “internalized parenting…” When you said that, I felt it in my bones because of course we create patterns to govern and control ourselves via how or what we learned from our parents and upbringing. Pivoting here a little, but can you talk to me a bit about how Tarot / Astrology has potentially healed you… For me, they’ve completely transformed my relationship with myself but also my familial and interpersonal relationships, and I’m curious to know how and if it’s affected yours?
A
The first book about astrology I ever received was The New Astrology by Suzanne White. I was a kid and I had no idea what I was in for… but suddenly I knew I was a Gemini Snake and it defined me so perfectly that I started carrying it around and reading to people out of it. And every person would just sit there with their jaw on the floor. I saw right away the power of understanding and validating the self. The more I do this work, the more people come to understand and love themselves, the more healed I become. May sound trite, but whatever pain I may have had in my life has healed itself as I busied myself with the healing of others. I see so much of my own experiences in other’s trauma and with every word offered to them, my inner self is listening as well. Freud first coined the internalized parent in his work and when I first learned about it, I was in shock. The idea that we carry a miniature version of our parent’s worst qualities around in our mind to “keep us in line” was shocking. But of course, it resonated. However, the more I learned about my own chart and transits, I realized that internalization had nothing to do with the real me. When it didn’t make sense anymore, my mind just discarded it. I think without realizing it, many people have this same experience. Tarot and Astrology bring them closer to the “them” that existed before the learned behavior took over. It’s been the same for me.
SA
Uff, the “them” that existed before the learned behavior took over… What I always learn from you is a) your deep wealth of knowledge, how much you know is truly astounding b) your ability to synthesize and see humans so clearly. I think I find it so remarkable as well because in many circles folks still assume that Astrology and Tarot is anti-intellectual… but you merge these worlds together in your work. You weave story, history, information with the moon and the stars. How do you navigate people who are perhaps uncomfortable with these worlds? What do you do to convince them of this real technology?
A
Well, first off as Carolna Casey says the proof of Astrology is in it’s persistence. It refuses to go away and the stars continue to have deep and meaningful effects on our lives… so I never try to convince. My strategy is this: doesn’t matter if you believe or not, you don’t have to. You can scoff at it, belittle it… that’s okay. But if the information helps you, heals you, gives you insight into self, makes you a better you… then does it matter how legitimate you find it? I’m also not one for allowing any sort of snobbery in my life, so those intellectual circles that would look down on these arts should remember that their favorite physicists, scientists, philosophers were astrology buffs first, and professionals after. Whenever I meet someone who loves Newton’s work but laughs at Astrology I am there to remind them that he spent most of his life studying the stars and much less time creating the laws by which we still define the Universe. There is a dangerous form of dogmatic thinking that exists in scientific circles at the moment and it saddens me. We’ve only come as far as we have because the great minds of the past understood that the metaphysical was just as important as the rational. I actually feel a bit sorry for people when they cut themselves off from such a rich source of knowledge.
SA
Isaac Newton was also Capricorn Sun/Cancer Moon!!! This makes sense, and I also agree. The ways in which we limit our own mind… is just incredibly sad. I’ve been thinking a lot about how trauma creates limiting beliefs and affects our own imagination and conception — the very possibility that there are worlds and systems that we might not fully understand — and I believe white supremacy/ colonization has done similar things, as well. Yet, we code things between a binary of rational versus irrational.
What’s some advice you’d tell someone that perhaps wants to get more into Astrology and Tarot, but is overwhelmed by the plethora of information out there. How should one vet it and find the right fit?
AK
The simplest way is to start with what you’re most curious about. If the alignment of the stars at the time of your birth is intriguing, have your chart read. If you have an immediate issue that you cannot see yourself solving, use the iChing (which is basically a very sophisticated way of teaching various strategies of patience). If you’re wanting to try your hand at interpreting yourself, get a deck of cards. I’m a big believer in trusting yourself first. There’s no need to look outside if you trust your gut completely. Any of these tools (outside of the chart read) can be done by you, interpreted by you… but it involves truly trusting yourself. So, that’s where I always start. What’s keeping you from trusting your own instincts? What makes you believe that your intuition isn’t right? That’s always rooted in a deeper pain, once you find that pain, everything opens up. You don’t need anything out there to help you understand yourself. But it’s nice to have the resource.
SA
What a beautiful reminder to trust ourselves first. I don’t think we are told that enough by anyone, I know I’m not. Looking toward the next few months—and moving into 2021—is there any planetary or intuitive guidance you feel like people should move with?
A
We have a few tranists coming up in 2021 that have to do with this very specific Gemini energy which most people find very difficult to navigate. It starts with the Lunar Eclipse at the end of November and continues into next year. The thing with transits through Gemini is that you’re tapping a raw nerve. It doesn’t care one bit about your feelings, it just wants to give you information (sometimes information that doesn’t seem at all relevant). When you’re inundated with all this seemingly useless detail, there’s a tendency to get overwhelmed and not face anything. But we can’t do that. The way to deal with it is this: accept your faults, let your ego sleep for a few moments and receive the information as purely as you can. It will sting, it will hurt, it will seem completely unnecessary but the purpose is much more esoteric than it seems. The eclipses of 2021 show you what needs to change immediately. There’s no more time to waste, the evolution train is leaving and you’re running to jump on. You can’t run with baggage. So, first the eclipses rob you of the useless weight, then they make you run to catch the train, then you finally get moving… it’s terrifying, way too fast, where are we going anyway? The point is, you don’t know but you trust it, like you do a Gemini friend who meanders through a story and then suddenly it all makes sense. Giving up control and trusting yourself becomes a real life exercise in 2021.
SA
I could talk to you all day, but I am mindful of your time, so I want to ask you once last question. You are such a beacon of light and knowledge, when you’re a seer like you are, how do you care for yourself? How do you aid your heart and rest? Are there rituals you do to protect yourself?
A
Absolutely. This is where my faith comes in. Every morning, I’m up before the Sun, praying. Then I play Quranic recitations throughout the house while I burn rosemary. I ground myself with bare feet on Earth or sand. I bathe twice a day. Meditation and yoga are a huge part of my life. But more than any of those very valid and important practices, I never let a toxic person in twice. I’m extremely protective of myself. If someone shows me they can’t be trusted with my energy, they never see me again. It may sound harsh, and it is. I’m very strict with who I allow in my presence or in my ear. I’m also celibate, which a lot of people find surprising but it makes all the sense in the world to me. There are games that people play with each other once sex is involved that can make it a very dangerous enterprise. So, if I’m not madly in love, there’s nothing going on in that area of my life. Also (just one more thing) my priorities are simple and again, very strict. My religion, my family, my tribe… everything else is a distant 4th place.
SA
I’m hanging onto every word. Thank you for your wisdom, may Allah protect you 🧿🧿🧿🧿🧿 Thank you for your time, beloved.
A
It brought me to tears to see your beautiful face. I’m so proud of you and the work that you’re doing. It means so much to so many of us. We love you kid.
SA
I’m crying now… Thank you. From the bottom of my heart.
A
Anytime, like I said, I’m always here if you need me. ❤️